Lord Jesus, what do You want to say to me about the way You love Yourself and the way You want me to love myself?
My dear one, I do not want you to shame yourself for pain, sadness, or disappointment anymore. It is OK to admit that you have unmet desires and longings and have been waiting to see their fulfillment for a long time. It is OK to admit that this has hurt and made you sad, that the years of disappointment have made your heart sick. I’d be a liar in Proverbs 13:12 if they hadn’t!
I want you to admit you’re sick and let Me heal you. I want you to be vulnerable and humble and admit your painful emotions to Me and to others so I can heal you–even the ones your culture tells you are shameful, like admitting you haven’t been able to get everything you need to be perfectly happy.
I don’t see any shame in that. You’ve been following Me along a path of disappointment and waiting, just like Abraham and Sarah did, and believe Me, Abraham and Sarah’s hearts got sick, month after disappointed month. And I was so, so proud of them for that. I never judged them. I never despised them.
Abraham and Sarah were the only ones of their generation who became famous, right down to this very day, and all their peers who had children at age 19 and 20 have long ago been forgotten by humanity, by anyone and everyone but Me. They had “happiness” but they didn’t have glory, the glory that comes from suffering with Jesus.
I see you as Abraham and Sarah. They were miserable sometimes. They laughed at Me. They messed up in their pain. Sometimes, often, the only reason they waited for Me was because they didn’t have a choice. They may not have looked more impressive than the people around them who never sacrificed their son. But they were. Their faith had been tried like gold, and it has been famous forever, and lasts for eternity. OK? I don’t want you to be ashamed to admit that you are like Abraham and Sarah anymore.