Lord Jesus, what do You want to say to me about the way You love Yourself and the way You want me to love myself?
My darling, there is no shame in pain and disappointment. There isn’t. Sweetheart, that’s another lie of your culture.
Your culture is built on “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness,” and while there’s some truth in that, it implies that if everybody is pursuing happiness, then those who are feeling happy today have succeeded, and those who are feeling sad today have failed. And that’s simply not true.
The truth is that in this world you will have tribulation (but do not fear, I have overcome the world! John 16:33). The truth is that it is only at the dawn of the coming age and the end of this one that I will wipe away every tear from every eye and that sorrow and sighing will flee away (Revelation 7:17; 21:4; Isaiah 25:8; 35:10; 51:11). The truth is that there is no shame in depression, sorrow, and grief. The truth is that Jesus was a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief (Isaiah 53:3).
You don’t have to pretend to be more happy and less sad than you are. Jesus didn’t. Jesus wept (John 11:35). The truth is that the obedient are the successful, even if they are going through pain and sorrow and disappointment and grief and even depression on the path of obedience, and the disobedient are the ones who are failing and in danger of eternal loss, even if they are having fun in this moment.
It would be better to live for “life, liberty, and the pursuit of God.” Happiness will come along the way. Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning. And God is so good, it is worth losing the liberty part and even the life part for Him, temporarily, if need be.
There’s no shame in being where you are right now and feeling what you’re feeling right now. I am here with you.