“Lord Jesus, what truth do You want me to rest in at this moment?”
My small group posed this question to the Lord together and then took time to 1) quiet our hearts down, 2) focus the eyes of our hearts on Jesus, 3) listen to the flow of spontaneous thoughts the Holy Spirit brings, and then 4) write them down. Just try doing all four of those things at the same time–it’s powerful!
When we did, this is the beautiful answer I wrote down. What a revelation of the heart of Jesus!
“My darling, the truth I want you to rest in is the truth of My body broken for you and My blood poured out for you. It was such a costly sacrifice, and I would be so sad if you didn’t need it from Me. I would be so sad if I went to all that trouble and then we found out that you could be Good Enough by yourself, that you weren’t actually bad enough to need the Son of God to die for you to save you from sin and death and hell! That would be like a nightmare for Me, to go through all the tortures and agonies of the cross just for you and then find out you didn’t need it from Me. So please don’t pretend that it is true. Please don’t pretend that you are perfect and don’t need forgiveness that much. Because you wouldn’t want to reenact Jesus’ worst nightmares, would you? I didn’t think so. I knew you loved Me too much to want to do that to Me!
Shhhhh, darling, I know what you are really like. I know what goes on in the deep dark depths of your heart where you can’t see. I know what you need to repent of, and I know how much of it you are ready to find out about at any given moment. And so I am never discouraged or appalled to find it out, even when you are. I am never afraid or surprised. I am just relieved, so relieved, to realize that you DID need My sacrifice, My body broken like bread and My blood poured out like wine. Because if you didn’t, I would be so disappointed!
It is like this: imagine if you went to great expense and cost of time and energy and money and effort to prepare an incredible meal for guests. Imagine you were so excited when the meal turned out beautifully… but then either nobody came, or they came but they had just eaten and were stuffed and couldn’t enjoy a thing. You would be so hurt and disappointed and feel like all your sacrifice of love had been a waste.
That is how I feel when you show up to My banquet of costly but fully-paid-for forgiveness and unconditional grace and love and mercy so full of your own righteousness that you can’t eat a thing. Don’t come full of yourself. Don’t come stuffed with self-righteousness. Don’t eat your best efforts right before you come. Come hungry. Come needy. Come ready for the gospel to sound like good news again.
When you don’t feel like you need that bread and that cup more than you need anything else in the world, it is time for Me to show you the next onion-layer of repentance needed in your restoration process. When you see it, your self-righteousness will be broken and you will come to My table as grateful as if you are starving, because you are. My body is the true food and My blood is the true drink. There is no other.
This message has always been offensive. The first listeners were offended because they thought I was teaching literal cannibalism. You know better than that, but you are offended because you don’t always believe that you are so bad that you need it. You only believe that after I show you the next round or layer of sin and brokenness and sinful responses and behaviours and attitudes and beliefs to repent of.
And now I am doing that, and you are hurting over it. Don’t be. Have realistic expectations of yourself. A realistic expectation of yourself is that you are so bad and messed up that you needed Jesus to die for you to save you, and that you are so loved that He actually did it. Both of those things–being that “bad” and yet being that loved–are true of you and all other people as well, but right now I want you to apply it to yourself. Expect to have to repent of many things every day, especially in this season, and then you will not be disappointed.
I am not disappointed. I am feeling nothing but relief: relief that I have provided what you need, and relief that you need what I have provided. We are a match made in heaven, you and I: you have sin, and I have forgiveness. You have need, and I have provision. You need righteousness, and I have extra to give away! You are hungry, malnourished without Me, and I have a banquet prepared and nobody else to eat it for Me. So come. Come come come.
The joy you feel when your guests devour your cooking and tell you it’s delicious is the joy I feel when you need and receive My forgiveness. You honor Me when you eat well and don’t eat before you come. You honor Me when you acknowledge your sin and brokenness to both Me and others and let Me help you and forgive you and restore it. So eat Me. Drink Me. I’m like the “eat me” and “drink me” bottles in Alice in Wonderland but I don’t make you big or small, I make you holy and indestructible and live forever. I make you right with God. I make you restored to factory settings, a little more every day. I make you clean and holy. I make you free and fulfilled. I make you Mine. Eat Me. Drink Me. Enjoy. Bon appetit! I love you.”