Some childhood mornings, I woke up in that magical window of time between the time my parents woke up and the time they actually got up, when they were still lying in bed talking to each other. That meant I could run into their room and jump into bed between them, pull the covers up and get a morning hug from both sides. I could roll over and smell that on one side, Mommy’s pillow smelled like Mommy, and that on the other side, Daddy’s pillow smelled like Daddy–the two most comforting and reassuring smells in my world. I could go back to sleep and wake up slowly, feeling the safety of their voices rising and falling gently over my head, their arms embracing me when they reached for each other. Held on both sides by the love that made me.
Sometimes I still miss that. Being small enough to snuggle in the middle of the love that made me.
I know not everybody wanted to run and jump into bed between their parents in the morning when they were growing up! I know that many people never felt that the love between their parents was the safest and surest thing holding up their world or wanted to jump in the middle and snuggle because the middle was a happy place to be.
But I am also realizing that my snuggly childhood family-bed mornings are an exquisite picture of something we all can have: to be loved by a Triune God, by a Spirit who fills us because the Father loves us because His Son died for us because His Father loved us…
My own thoughts about God the Father are the delirious fears of a child with a high fever, the sickness of sin keeping me from seeing that Daddy is really there holding my hand and He is not the monster in the room. But my older brother Jesus knows our Abba Father so much better than I do, and He can tell me the truth.
So I have been rereading the gospels, stopping everywhere Jesus says something about His Father (which is a lot of stopping, since Jesus’ beloved Abba Father is clearly His favorite topic!). Then I take Jesus’ words and do some two-way journaling about it with the Father, asking, “Abba Father, what do You want to say to me about this thing that Jesus told me about You?”
And if it sounds like a tongue-twister to ask what Abba says about what Jesus says about what Abba says about me, that’s because it’s supposed to be. Because I’m snuggling in the middle. I’m jumping in bed between Them. I’m getting a hug from both sides. Just like when Daddy used to hug mommy hugging daddy hugging mommy hugging me.
Caught up in the eternal love relationship between the Father, Son, and Spirit who created all things, I’m held on every side by the Love that made me.
And as I snuggle into the way Jesus feels safe in His Father’s hug, I feel His Spirit whispering Father’s thoughts about Jesus’ words into my ear. I look forward to sharing some of those thoughts in upcoming posts. But in the meantime, consider asking Him these “snuggly questions” for yourself.
- Which member of the Trinity do you feel the most comfortable with?
- Which member of the Trinity do you feel the least comfortable with?
- Try asking the One you feel most comfortable with to show you what He thinks about the One you feel least comfortable with. Try looking in the Bible for His words and thoughts about that. And try asking Him what He wants to say to you about what you read.
And rest in His embrace of His embrace of His embrace of you, held on every side by the love that made you.